Gratitude parts 15 & 16: roots and survival mode

stanford v U

This past weekend Stanford played the Utes and we went to the game and sat on the very front row.  We wore our Stanford gear but were secretly cheering for the Utes (actually, based off our reactions, it wasn’t that big of a secret).  We had very enthusiastic Ute-fan family in town from Utah so it was fun to sort of pretend we were rivals even though we were really on the same side all along.  It got me thinking, though.  We LOVE it here at Stanford.  Absolutely LOVE it.  Honestly, we feel so blessed and just plain lucky to be here.  But that football game reminded me of our roots.  Where we came from.  What made us who we are right now.  The University of Utah represented a lot more than John’s and my alma mater at that football game.  It represented John’s and my courtship, our humble little basement apartment that we started our family in, the people who believed in us crazy kids, being super poor together but super hopeful for the future, it represented our hard work and faithfulness that helped us get to where we are, scholastically and in our marriage.  It represented home, really, and helped open my California-converted heart to remembering how desperately I need home. 

I’m also grateful for survival mode.  Yesterday I thought back on the last month or so and realized everything we’ve been through:

John’s young, healthy cousin passing away suddenly

Flying to Oklahoma for the funeral

Charlie eating a poisonous mushroom and being hospitalized

John being gone literally 15 hours a day for school projects lately

Having a major health scare with my healthy aerobics instructor little sister that turned out to be alright

Having family come to town (which is obviously wonderful, but just another thing to add to the list)

and last but not least, having my phone completely die and not being able to afford a new one (that one might not sound like that big of a deal, but it’s sure made for a lot of inconvenience not being able to connect with people, especially when all of the above has been happening)

I was surprised as I thought back on the last month’s adventures because I didn’t feel the weight I’d assume I would feel while enduring such things.  I didn’t even realize all that had happened in such a short span of time until I thought back.  The mood I’ve been in lately doesn’t reflect everything we’ve been going through, I guess.  I really feel very much at peace and quite happy.  Sure, there are the daily ebbs and flows of motherhood and life that I feel, but I really think I’ve just been in survival mode without realizing it.  It’r truly a blessing and really the secret of life to be able to be happy while enduring trials and emotional experiences.  No matter what you go through, there are always beautiful bright spots of blessings, too.  I guess those beautiful bright spots are the things that have helped me endure the rest without really even realizing I’ve been “enduring.”

Gratitude posts summary:

1. my family // 2. words // 3. outside // 4. compartmentalizing // 5. drunk babies // 6. black charcoal // 7. naughties // 8. sneaky treats // 9. mercy // 10. grins // 11. movement // 12. pseudo moms // 13. in-laws // 14. miracles // 15. roots // 16. survival mode

 

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