home is not a place.

nap on the couch

As I was resting on the couch that came with our new apartment after a long day’s work of unpacking and organizing our new life, a little boy who adamantly claimed to not be tired climbed up on that couch and snuggled up to me without a word.  He slowly drifted off to sleep as I watched over him like a mother.  We rested there together for what seemed to be too short.  I fought sleep because I wanted to keep this moment lasting as long as I could, this moment with my boy.  So I just closed my eyes and listened to him breath (snore).  I snuck a peek at his newly-scarred forehead where some delicate beads of sweat were forming.  I pulled him in a little closer to me, kissed his long-lashed eyes and felt the emotion of being so close to something I created so miraculously, something that was so much worthier than I.  Something who tells me–ME– that I’m beautiful every day and that I am his best, best friend.  Something that prays to Heavenly Father every night and always thanks Him for “Mommy” very first thing.  Something that fiercely loves his little brother and who protects him from the little (yet big) things a three year old can protect from.  It’s a sacred thing, realizing what you have created.  And it’s a sacred thing to realize that all you created was a little body that could house a soul that has existed forever.  That’s the realization that puts everything into perspective.  That this little creation isn’t really mine, but that God has leant him to me for a season.  And that Together, my Father and me and my special John William, can give my little soul-boy a beautiful life, full of things that matter.  Full of love, of devotion, of loyalty, of service, of laughter, of security, of….home.  No matter where we are.  Because home is having each other.  Home is knowing God and taking Him with you everywhere.  Home is seeing everyone as a someone and treating them as the only one.  Home is taken with your heart wherever it is.  And for now, my heart has taken The Bay Area in and is letting me love it for me and my family, so very much.

More on our new life in Palo Alto, California to come…..

4 comments

  1. Anonymous says:

    I can’t tell you how much I needed this today. And I’ll probably need to read it over again to let it sink in. I love your perspective and the way you write. I love me little 2 year old so much but my patience has been tested a lot lately and it was good to read this put in perspective how amazing her little soul is. Thank you.

    • wifeofjw says:

      Dear Anonymous,
      You are a gem. Please know that I get frustrated with my kids PLENTY. I think that’s why this experience was so special to me. You are a conscientious mother, and therefor, a good one. The perfect one for your baby. My mother in law once told me that kids are supposed to annoy you so that you know what to teach them in order for them to not annoy everyone else :). It’s funny sounding, but I feel like there’s some truth to the idea. Thank you so much for reading and for taking the time to comment. I can’t tell you how much it means!
      Jessi

  2. mary porter . says:

    wow I have missed seeing you on face book but i have been busy to .whitch is great for me love your family and it increases my faith in love and life when i see your family together .hope you life is good for you and the family.hugs and thans for the lovely things you do with your family

    • wifeofjw says:

      Mary!
      I have a facebook page for my blog that I am a little more active on, if you’d like to follow along there! The link is up at the top of my sidebar. You are so sweet to follow along with my little family’s life. We feel so blessed to have each other and to be able to share our fun with others through the blog. We are doing great and hope you are doing well, too! I miss you and the cheer you bring into my life!
      Jessi

Leave a Reply