Just a few thoughts on being the mom to this one. James is literally Heaven in a little body. Even though he’s gotten a tad sassy lately, I honestly feel like he really consciously tries to make good choices and be nice. There’s nothing like having him crawl up on the couch next to me with a big grin on his mug, asking, “hug? hug?” He cuddles and kisses so freely and really makes everything better. If you know him well, you know just what I’m talking about. He’s just so . . . rad.
Something I’ve learned about being James’ mom this past week is that patience from me always calms him down when he’s having a little tantrum. I know it’s hard to respond instead of react when your child is testing you, but compassionate parenting really has proven to be so much more effective in our experience. Don’t get me wrong, I still lose my patience PLENTY. But this past week we were walking out of the grocery store and James was continuing a fit that had started in the store. My initial reaction was to get frustrated with him, speak with him firmly and purposefully, and to get that kid to do things my way. After all, I’M THE MOM. Something inside me paused, though, and instead of doing all those things, I pulled James aside, got down on his level, and commiserated with him. “You’re having a hard time, aren’t you Sweet Honey? I’m so sorry you’re frustrated. I love you and I want to help you.” I gave him a little hug, and then he just melted into my arms and completely changed his attitude. It was a great rest of the afternoon after that. I know in my heart that he would not have turned around like that if I had stuck to my original plan.
It takes forethought and consciousness, but my goal is to respond more often, instead of react. I feel so much more fulfilled as a mom when I do, and I know it helps Jameser way more than if I didn’t. Win win! But with James as my bubbers, life is always a win win. For me, at least. 🙂
PS, how are your #togethergrams coming along? Try to get that one picture a day of just you and your kids, individually, no matter how frumpy you feel! Lexi, I’m talking to you. 🙂