2/30 Things: Fears

{To know what I’m talking about, and to see past 30 Things posts, start here….}

2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

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1. I am terrified of something happening to James.
I’m sure this is a natural feeling for a mother {especially a new one}.  It has gotten so bad at times, though, that I have had to have deep, tearful discussions with John about how to not let this fear run my life.  My sweet husband led me to the hymn “When Faith Endures” and I have memorized it and recite it several times a day/week, depending on how heavy the fear looms in my heart at the time.  It really brings great peace to my soul and changes everything.  It has helped me internalize the fact that Heavenly Father has a plan for my son, no matter what happens to him.  It’s comforting to know there is a Great Plan for my boy.  He is in Good Hands.
2.  I am terrified of my driveway.  Well, actually, murderers.
Growing up we lived on a private lane, and my whole life my incredibly vivid imagination has noticed how perfectly our lush trees and bushes would hide a murderer.  To make things even better, some of my friends have caught wind of this fear of mine and have hidden in said bushes with big butcher knives to scare me.  Needless to say I still make my mother walk me out to my car every time I am leaving the house I grew up in after visiting her and Dad.  And I always look under my car before getting in so that a murderer can’t cut my Achilles tendons so that I won’t be able to run away from him {or her}.  And I always look in the back of my car before getting in, in case someone is hiding in the back seat, probably with a knife or something {naturally}.  

3. I am scared I’ll be fat my whole life.      
This isn’t so much a fear anymore, but before I got pregnant I thought I was doomed to be chunky after having children, especially because I gained 70 pounds my first pregnancy and had no idea how hard it would be to get that baby weight off before I’d just get pregnant again and add on to that flub.  Little did I know that nursing was the fastest weight-loss plan on earth!  And, yes, my body is definitely different than it once was, but I’m not scared to be stuck in this skin anymore.  I love it more than I ever have, actually, and have learned that I can control my weight more than I think {plus, I’m not opposed to lipo…}.

summer 2009, we dressed as twins and didn’t even mean to
{we were dating at the time}

other fears John would tell you I have:
raptors
ducks
boogers
bad breath
Also, I’m afraid of getting in trouble at work for something I have no idea I am doing wrong… but that’s just irrational.
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Tune in tomorrow: Describe your relationship with your parents.

2 comments

  1. SBB says:

    Thoroughly enjoying perusing your January posts. I have some serious anxiety about my kids, too. It’s almost debilitating, isn’t it? I too check the back seat of my car every time I get in (all it took was one horror story over a decade ago), and I too am afraid of being fat. It seems like you’re doing a really good job handling them, though.

    I’m also deathly afraid of evil spirits…and fish.

  2. lgroom says:

    I could literally copy and paste these fears as my own.. except i don’t have a child. I mean, i died laughing.. especially about the fear of getting in trouble for doing something you didn’t know what wrong.. so great. Thanks for making my day cheerier! glad i found your blog

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