13/30 Things: Weak

{To know what I’m talking about and to see past 30 Things posts, start here…}

13. Describe five weaknesses you have.

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1. I have a problem with reacting instead of responding in stressful situations.  
I tend to not think too much about how to best handle the situation and instead just act however comes most naturally–think ‘natural man = enemy to God.’  This might not be so much of a big deal if I weren’t married.  Poor John.  For example, when James got super sick last month I totally FREAKED out when I missed his doctor calling me back.  John tried to calm me down, which just bugged me, so I freaked out at him, too.  There was freaking out left and right on my part, needless to say.  All the while John was
cool as a cucumber, trying to figure out how to best deal with the stressful sitch and a crazy wife to boot.  This happens far too often.  I’m working on this.
2. I care way too much about what others think of me.
Why do I care so much about what others think of me!  I think this stems from being in scenarios in high school where I did get a lot of positive feedback.  Then I got in the real world and had to try a lot harder to get it.  I guess I’ve become a little indignant for it.  But it just makes me fake, insecure, vain, and tired.  I’d love to be confident enough one day to not second guess myself all the time if I get any form of feedback that I happen to interpret as negative, or even neutral, for that matter.  But I think I’m just super immature.  I’m also working on this.
3.  I struggle with staying within my monthly budget.     
Don’t worry, Dad, it’s not like I’m spending hundreds of dollars over my ‘allowance.’  In fact, I am actually really good at not spending that much money.  I mean, we are {happily} dirt poor to begin with, so it’s not even like I can.  But sometimes it’s just soooo hard to pass up an amazing deal!  So I usually end up going about $20-$30 over each month.  But I am trying so hard!!  I promise.
4. Sometimes I have a hard time choosing to be happy if I’m grumpy.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m generally extremely happy.  But on some days, once in a while, I just feel blue for no particular reason.  Most of the time I can try to snap out of it, but sometimes I consciously do not do the things that would help me snap out of it. I’m working on this, too.

5. I do not pray on my knees and study my scriptures enough.
 I try to do it every day but I have to admit that it has inched its way down on my list of priorities.  I am so ashamed to admit that!  I know if I do this every day my life will be so much more fulfilling.  Maybe even make #4 less of a problem.  John has been so great to help me set goals about this because he knows it really will help me be happier.  I’m so grateful for him.

Well, that’s that then.  I’m sure feeling great about myself! {sarcasm, sarcasm}  Luckily there are people in my life who love me in spite of my weaknesses.

Dad was on fall break…         

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Tune in next time: Describe 5 strengths you have.

2 comments

  1. CKE says:

    Um… I struggle with EVERY ONE of those things! Seriously, glad I’m nog the only one. 🙂 You are just a dear, and I love you. 🙂

  2. SBB says:

    Me too. To basically all of it. I’ll make you a deal: you teach me how to be as optimistic and upbeat as you are, and I’ll teach you how to stay in your budget.

    I’m horrible at kneeling prayers. I made a little chart that I have taped to the wall by my bed for some of my goals for this year. I check them off each day. 100% in the kneeling prayers category. Yeah!

    That picture of James is classic.

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