It’s 2:00 in the AM:

and I’m camped out in my living room trying to stay awake so I can keep watch and make sure Jameser doesn’t aspirate his upchuck {would that make it downchuck?}.  My poor little buddy is so. incredibly. sick.  We thought he got the flue the other day when I had it, but oh-ho-ho-ho no, were we wrong.  Because NOW he has what I had, and just as bad as I had it, which means he has it ten times worse since his body is so wittow.  I’ve never seen a baby vomit this way. . . . like a middle-aged man.  It’s not just intense spit up.  I’m talking gag reflex/projectile/dry heaving/grunting and moaning/can’t keep anything down genuine, authentic barfing.

It all started just before 6:00 tonight when John dropped him off at Mama H’s so that we could meet up with some friends and catch a movie.  I had been working all day and was just going to meet John at Cafe Rio for dinner before we headed to the theater.  I was already anxious that I was going so long without seeing and nursing James, so when Erin called us only 30 minutes after he was dropped off to explain James was really sick and not keeping anything down, I was ready to cancel on our friends, jump right back in my car and speed to his side to sing his fears and pain away.  So we did just that.  But I was not prepared for what ensued.

I hurried in the house to scoop my baby boy up in my arms only to find him asleep and white as a ghost.  It really scared me that he was so pale.  Erin explained that he had vomited 8 times within the hour she had him, and he could not keep anything down, so she had sent Papa H. to get some pedialyte to help keep James hydrated.  When he got back we packed up all of our things and went on our way, praying James didn’t spread the bug to any of H. Clan right before Christmas.  I fed an ounce of the pedialyte to James in the car on the way home and he vomited it up everywhere.  I started balling because I was so heartbroken at the thought of my baby being so sick and I couldn’t bare to see him gagging and heaving and moaning.  And my hysterics only increased over the next hour or two.

We got Jameser home and tried to sooth him to sleep, but he wasn’t having it.  He vomited three more times within twenty minutes of being home and started turning a palish-green.  I started balling again and called the urgent kid’s care.  They paged our doctor, Dr. G., who quickly returned our call.  She was so wonderful and really helped me feel confident and calm.  She suggested we take him in to the urgent care at the pediatrics clinic to see if he was dehydrated and to see if there was anything else we could do to help him be comfortable.  So we were off again, at about 9:00.  It was then that I started collecting myself and finally getting it together.

We arrived and after a bit of a wait the examinations began.  To make a long story not short but not quite as long, here is what was discovered:

-bronchiolitis
-stomach flu
-eczema all over his chest and back
-slight dehydration

So here is what they did:

-fluids testing 
{1 teaspoon of pedialyte every 10 
minutes to ease his tummy back into having food in it}
-mucus suction 
{sticking 5-6 inch long tubes down each of James’ 
nostrils to suck out the phlegm that was rattling around in his chest– 
and yes I started balling again when they did this to my bubbers}
-rx for cream for his rash
-rx for respiratory therapy so that we can go 
get the phlegm suctioned whenever we need to

Two hours later they sent us home.  I finally got James to sleep around midnight, and he hasn’t thrown up since a little before 9:00, so I think we might be in the clear.  Until JW gets it, I guess…

I tell you what, this motherhood stuff can about level ya.  Not because of the physical demands so much as the emotional demands.  There really is no rest from the worry and angst and, dare I say, guilt.  I can’t help but think sometimes that I’m doing everything wrong.  I mean, James has been sick for the better part of a month, it seems.  If it’s not one thing, it’s another, and then it’s back to the one thing.  And then another thing starts.  I should be able to protect my son better.  I just have to remember that The Lord trusts me and thinks I can do this.  I need to be patient with myself as I learn how to do all this stuff.  And I need to nurture the little feeling in the back of my heart that whispers to the rest of my heart that I really am a good mommy and I just need to give myself a break.

James is stirring, so I’m off.

    
  

2 comments

  1. Katie says:

    Ahh, Jess, I am so sorry that you guys had to go through all of that. It is so hard to see the little ones sick and I always wish that I could just take it all on myself and not have them ever feel so awful. This is his first winter, isn’t it? He’s bound to get sick, but I noticed that Owen and Eli (my winter babes) have really outgrown getting sick so often. Poor Owen used to be sick all the time, just ask my Utah fam, every time they saw him (during the cold Holiday months) he was sick with something. Poor guy. Now, it’s pretty rare to see that guys feeling bleh. Do you guys have a Humidifier? I love ours and my boys sleep with it every night/nap (it’s good for white noise, too). It’s the cool mist kind so the room doesn’t ever feel all swampy. All that aside, you are strong and good and a wonderful mother and I just know that Heavenly Father sent you an amazing spirit because He knew you would care so very very much. I hope you guys have a wonderful Christmas.
    Much love,
    Katie

  2. SassAFrass says:

    Poor little guy. I know the feelings. Ascher hasn’t ever been THAT sick but even when its just the sniffles I panic and worry and wish there was always something more I could do to help him feel better.
    You are a great mom though. You do what is needed love him fiercely.The best part? He knows it!
    Hope you ALL start feeling better soon.

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