Giving Thanks, part 23: Flexibility

Today I am grateful for flexibility.  This is something I have been working on for a while — the emotional kind, not the bendy kind.  In the past I have tended to panic if plans change suddenly or if things don’t go the way I envisioned them.  I have never really been able to go with the flow.  I guess I have more of a controlling personality than I thought.  But, like I said, I have been working on this and tonight I had a little victory.  John’s and my anniversary is tomorrow and all day today I thought we could celebrate it tonight by going out to eat at Rumbi’s because we have a gift card there.  I got really attached to the idea of going to Rumbi’s and, in my head, neeeeeeded to go to Rumbi’s.  Well, I didn’t communicate this need to John all day, so he totally wasn’t planning on even celebrating our anniversary tonight, let alone going out again.  So when he got home and I told him our plans, I really had to calm myself down when he said his present wasn’t even ready and he’d rather go out and celebrate another night.  But the fact is that I DID calm myself down with a little pep talk and totally let go of emotionally needing to go to Rumbi’s and settled for leftover rice and meatballs for dinner!  I was so proud of myself!!  You may not really appreciate how big of a deal this is for me–but this was not typical of or easy for me.  And I still did it!  I really do feel like I’m getting more emotionally mature lately, maybe because I’m a mother now and it’s really time I grow up?  I have had to focus extra hard on being in tune with my feelings and trying to keep them positive and flexible {especially with postpartum craziness}, and I am really coming along.  And I’m quite tickled with myself.

Maui, April 2010