Even now, almost eight weeks after the fact, I get the chills and tears in my eyes as I recall the sacred experience giving birth was for me.  I had no idea what to expect, but I never thought it could be so incredible, so naturally euphoric.  The event is truly indescribable, and I have changed a lot because of it.

One way I’ve changed is that I feel more beautiful than I have ever felt, knowing now that my body can do what it can do.  I almost feel ashamed that I ever felt not beautiful, especially when I was pregnant.  I realize now that that is the most beautiful time of a woman’s life, and I spent it feeling so ugly.  But with my new eyes I won’t let myself go there ever again.  I know too much now to let myself think I’m anything less than an incredible vessel of true beauty and light.  If I ever forget that then I can just look at my precious child and he will help me remember.

Recovery is going indescribably well.  I was ready to start getting active again after about five weeks, and I truly feel amazing.  I gained 65-70 pounds this pregnancy {which is why I felt so ugly, as noted above} and was very anxious about what it would be like trying to lose all that weight.  But I was lucky enough to come home from the hospital 20 pounds lighter, and have lost an additional 25 pounds since without a ton of focus or effort.  I’ve been pretty lucky, I guess.  I had retained a TON of water, and I have totally lost my appetite with breast feeding.  A lot of the time I have to force myself to eat so I don’t lose my milk and so that I can stay healthy.  I’m still a good 25-30 pounds away from my pre-preg weight, but I’m feeling more and more like myself each day.  I started weight watchers with my mom the first of September and we walk two-three miles together most days.  She helps me stay motivated to be healthy.  She is such a great support and I think she’ll help me be successful.


My goal is to lose five pounds a month.  I think that’s very realistic and practical.  I’m not in any hurry, so I want to do it a healthy way.  The only time constraint I have is when I want to get pregnant again, so I figure I have at least a year to get to my goal weight.  So far, so good, but I could use some healthy meal ideas and exercise creativity if any of you have any thoughts!