Giving birth to my third baby was a life-altering experience for me. Very early on in my pregnancy with Rock I began researching the different birth options available to me. I felt in my heart that becoming a mother was just as much a sacred experience for me as a woman as it was about giving physical life to my child. I wanted to experience my labor and delivery in a setting where I could be comfortable and feel the presence of God. I finally came to the conclusion that I wanted my baby to come into the world in our home. I entrusted my well-being to a capable and peaceful midwife named Cathy. She made me feel confident that I could have the experience I longed for and that she would be there to help me. She encouraged me to care for my myself as though I were a runner preparing for a marathon. I trained physically and mentally everyday and knowing I was prepared to the best of my ability helped me not feel afraid.
When the moment finally arrived my labor descended upon me like a storm. However, I knew with each tidal wave that rolled through me I was a little bit closer to meeting my baby. In the final moments when the pain became overwhelming I had the presence of my dear husband, my mother, my sister Laura and wonderful Cathy to buoy my spirits. I’ll always remember Cathy telling me that I could do it in that calming voice of hers. My baby came out of my body and right into my own two hands. I had been a portal to heaven for a brief moment. I was so happy that the first thing my little boy knew in this life was being held in his mother’s arms. I just can’t accurately describe the sacredness of those moments but they are seared in my memory. I think prior to this experience I was plagued with the same insecurities about my body that most women and girls have to deal with living in today’s world. But I can honestly say that since that moment I’ve been in awe of my body’s physical capabilities. When I look at myself now I see strength. I feel more beautiful now than I have ever felt in my life. When I watch my baby play on the floor in our home in the same spot he was born I am taken back to the moment of his birth. I marvel at how much he has grown and learned since then and I am overcome with amazement that Bryson and I could CREATE a human being with all its intricate complexities.
I wil treasure this birth experience for eternity and I am humbled to the depths of my soul that the Lord has trusted me with the awesome responsibility of motherhood. My children are truly my treasures.