Thoughts On Motherhood: Emily B.

“Thoughts On Motherhood” is a series on Hopes and Dreams devoted to celebrating the divine nature women have in honoring, supporting and becoming mothers.  If you would like to share some of your thoughts on motherhood please email Jessi at wifeofjw@gmail.com.  All are invited to participate, not just mothers!
 
****

Giving birth to my third baby was a life-altering experience for me. Very early on in my pregnancy with Rock I began researching the different birth options available to me. I felt in my heart that becoming a mother was just as much a sacred experience for me as a woman as it was about giving physical life to my child. I wanted to experience my labor and delivery in a setting where I could be comfortable and feel the presence of God. I finally came to the conclusion that I wanted my baby to come into the world in our home. I entrusted my well-being to a capable and peaceful midwife named Cathy. She made me feel confident that I could have the experience I longed for and that she would be there to help me. She encouraged me to care for my myself as though I were a runner preparing for a marathon. I trained physically and mentally everyday and knowing I was prepared to the best of my ability helped me not feel afraid.

When the moment finally arrived my labor descended upon me like a storm. However, I knew with each tidal wave that rolled through me I was a little bit closer to meeting my baby. In the final moments when the pain became overwhelming I had the presence of my dear husband, my mother, my sister Laura and wonderful Cathy to buoy my spirits. I’ll always remember Cathy telling me that I could do it in that calming voice of hers. My baby came out of my body and right into my own two hands. I had been a portal to heaven for a brief moment. I was so happy that the first thing my little boy knew in this life was being held in his mother’s arms. I just can’t accurately describe the sacredness of those moments but they are seared in my memory. I think prior to this experience I was plagued with the same insecurities about my body that most women and girls have to deal with living in today’s world. But I can honestly say that since that moment I’ve been in awe of my body’s physical capabilities. When I look at myself now I see strength. I feel more beautiful now than I have ever felt in my life. When I watch my baby play on the floor in our home in the same spot he was born I am taken back to the moment of his birth. I marvel at how much he has grown and learned since then and I am overcome with amazement that Bryson and I could CREATE a human being with all its intricate complexities.

I wil treasure this birth experience for eternity and I am humbled to the depths of my soul that the Lord has trusted me with the awesome responsibility of motherhood. My children are truly my treasures.

IMG_0495
Emily is my beautiful cousin who has three perfect children and an incredibly compassionate husband. You can check out her blog here.  Love you, Em! Thank you so much for this special post.