A Love Note:

{I had a bad day yesterday.  I awoke to this:}

To My Jessi:

  I want to capture what is in my heart tonight so that I can give it to you when you wake.  I love you.  It is all that I have really ever wanted to do.  When it comes down to it, you are everything that really matters to me.  I am so sorry for all the bad days that you have been having for so long.  I hurt so much to see how tired and heavy your heart gets on days like that.  My heart breaks with yours.  I would give anything to heal you, instantly.  While I unfortunately cannot do that, know that I will always be here for you, and I can only offer a gentle hand to hold, fingers to brush off your tears, and a shoulder to lay your tired head on.

  I have loved you from long before we ever met.  When I was a missionary, there were many mornings when I could hardly bear the thought of walking out the door, days when I wished I could just let people walk by without having to talk to them.  But when I felt that way, there were two things that pushed me forward: I knew I had to offer the blessings of the Savior’s Gospel that had been given me so freely, and I knew I had to become the man who would be fit for the incredible women I knew you would be.  When I came home, I knew that I had to find you, and that if God were to trust me with such a special daughter of His I must work hard to prove myself worthy.  Now that I have found you, I know (as I really always did) that I could never be fully worthy of you.  At least not on my own power.  With God’s help though, and with your sweet love and incredible example, I will at least come much closer.

  You are so special to me, sweetheart.  When I am not with you, I miss your eyes, and the way you walk, your spontaneous and abruptly ended song and dance spurts, your ADD, and the way you say “I love you.”  I am so grateful for you.  I want to always be with you.  Thank you for loving me, for being with me, and for making my dreams come true.

Love always,

Your John



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