Unisom and Baby Ben.

I had a dream about the ex last night.

{Me, tired at work}


This happens far more often than I would prefer.  Like, at all.  His nocturnal invasions typically involve him either emotionally abusing me in some way or becoming besties with John.  I don’t know which type of dream is worse.  I’ll occasionally accidentally marry him instead of John, as well.  Terrifying.
But last night was different.
We ran into each other in the parking lot of Harmons and he seemed far more enthusiastic to see me than I know he would be in reality.  I took note of this and wondered in my dream what it would really be like if we were to run in to each other while conscious. That would be a nightmare come true.
Anyway, he was super chatty and was asking me all these questions.  I remember thinking that it was very refreshing that he was being so nice, but was nervous to think that it might stir up imaginary romantic feelings for him in me again.
After chatting for a few minutes he asked me, “So how is life going for you over all, then?”  I paused for a moment, wondering what his angle was, and responded, “Well, actually, my life is….perfect.”  And then I giggled with relief that I could actually say that, knowing fully well how awful it could have been had I married the kid standing right in front of me.  My life was perfect!  Without him!  And because I married the right guy!
To make the dream even better, Ex then took me to his parents’ house where his entire family proceeded to apologize to me individually for treating me so terribly.  Except his mother.  She was trying to get ME to apologize to HER for trying to tear her family apart.  .  .
I was crushed.  Well, re-crushed.  At that point I looked her square in the eye and calmly said everything I have ever wanted to say to her, without hesitating.  In reality I know if I saw her I would not know what to say and would end up kicking myself later as all the remarks I should have said would flow into me.  But never out of me, because I would never be able to say them in the moment they should be said.  I would just be clogged up with comebacks.  I was completely released in my dream, though.  And it doesn’t even go against my “nice person” record, because I never in actuality said them to her!  I just DREAMED that I did!
“The Jerk Store called, and they’re runnin outa YOU!”
And I awoke with a smile on my face.  But a blizzard of drowsiness in my head.  That’s what I get for taking unisom after 10:00pm.  Or at all.  I am very susceptible to sleeping pills.  Last Christmas I woke up with an allergic reaction in my eye {it was swollen shut and burning because I’m allergic to a certain shade of eyeshadow…random…} So my Doctor FIL gave me half a baby benedril to get it to deflate.  It ended up knocking me out til about 3:00 in the afternoon.  From half a baby ben!  And John got to hang out with his little brother and sister all day on Christmas, just like the ol’ days.
The funniest part of it all was that his little brother had gone to him late the night before, proposing to hang out all day the next day with their new Christmas booty.  John compassionately replied, “Well, I do have a wife now, so I’ll be hanging out with her.”  Marsh then jested, “How about we drug her or something so that she sleeps all day, then we can hang out!”
It was a Christmas miracle, it was.

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