So I really don’t like surprises. And John just LOVES surprising me. Let me rephrase that. I don’t like WAITING for surprises. I hate knowing that a surprise is coming. And John gets so excited to surprise me that he tells me way in advance that he’s got one coming. It may sound super spoiled and bratty, but hear me out . . . I don’t like surprises because I really have a terrible physiological reaction when I am anticipating something. Try to feel my pain! Of course I love that my husband wants to do/get nice things for me all the time, but when he tells me in advance that he’s got a surprise brewing I need to know what it is right then or I am miserable until he finally reveals it. I am ridden with anxiety and can’t focus on anything else. So I have instructed John to continue to plan things in secret but to not tell me that he’s got something in the works until the moment immediately prior to his surprising me. And the other day he gave me my first anxiety-less surprise! Yup. He didn’t tell me about it until the actual surprise itself surprised me, not John surprising me by telling me he’s going to surprise me! I’m so proud of him. It was WONDERFUL. My first enjoyable surprise. No stress, no speculation, no expectations. . . Just a fun little surprise that melted my heart.
Now you might be thinking that an iron and an ironing board isn’t exactly a token of affection. But the truth is I had been talking about how I wanted a new iron and an ironing board for weeks, and John took it to heart. I wasn’t even trying to drop hints, I was just thinking out loud, really. But he is so sensitive and listens to my feelings so much and he went to Bed Bath & Beyond one day after class. Just to do something that would mean a lot to me. He is so considerate of my feelings and is always investing energy into thinking about and contributing to our marriage. He is perf.