A little letter to my family:

A Letter to My Family:

Dear John and Babies,

I hope you know I love you with the fiercest, most fiery love possible.  You are perfect to me, in this moment, just as you are.  You might wonder why I’m grumpy towards you so much then.  Because I am human and I am weak and I am tired, even though I try.  And for that I am sorry.  I’m grumpy when I treat things in my life that don’t matter like they are more important than you, like a clean house or getting somewhere on time.  When I remember how precious you are and how blessed I am to have the sweetest family I could ever imagine, I am not grumpy.  I want you to know that I know you try so hard.  You try hard to do what’s right and to make my life easier, even though that is not your job.  James, you helped me with something the other day and I asked, “How did I get so lucky to have you as my son?”  You replied, “Because you are such a beautiful person, so Heavenly Father wanted to send you the best sons.”  If I am a beautiful person, it is because of you all and the love you show me.  I know it is no small thing, the love we share.  It is bigger than a clean house and punctuality.   It is even bigger than my grumpiness, if you can look past it to my mother heart. It is bigger than everything and will last forever.  You are my world.  My wonderful, beautiful, perfect world.  I will love you forever, no matter what, with a perfect, indescribable, inescapable love.  You are all so good and so true.  You are simply beautiful.  Never forget this.  Heavenly Father sent you all to me.


Your wife and mother Jessi

This entry was posted in family.

Headshot Project 2017: May

As you can see, Auggie now sports the man bun because we have no idea what to do with his unruly curls but refuse to cut them.  It actually suits him quite well, we think.  Especially since he’s practically a man now, anyway!  He’s growing soooooooo much.  He’s at that amazing stage where he copies everything his older brothers do.  Such a tiny body trying to do such big boy things, there’s something heartbreaking about it but in a sweet way.  He went through a stage where he followed me around with his head touching my leg at all times, that was interesting.  He also says “I love you” and “Thank you” all the time.  He screams in the car if he doesn’t have a bottle but did relatively well on our 9 hour road trip to southern Cali, all things considered.  He only threw up from crying once!  We have a magical bedtime routine that really helps him calm down.  We snuggle while he drinks his bottle and then walk around the room and say goodnight to specific things by him patting each thing: First, it’s goodnight to Auggie in the mirror, then goodnight to a pair of my shoes, then goodnight to a dinosaur skeleton necklace I have hanging up that he loves, then goodnight to a hat hanging on the wall, then goodnight to his lamp, then goodnight to his door, then goodnight to a blanky in his closet, then goodnight to a hook in his closet, then goodnight to his nose, then goodnight to my nose, then give a big kiss and a big squeeze, and then float him down into his bed like a feather.  For the most part it gets him to accept bedtime pretty easily, but there are a few times a week where he won’t let go of my hands when I put him in his crib, and it’s just so cute.  He’s getting pretty big for his little mini closet crib, but he loves it.

Charlie is so sweet with Auggie and with everyone for the most part.  At one park playdate, Auggie was on a rampage and was running around hitting every kid smaller than him for no reason.  Charlie was following him around the whole time apologizing to each kid that his brother did that to and would ask if they were ok.  I get a lot of comments of other parents who tend him for me about how impressed they are with him and how observant he is.  One time when I went to pick him up from a sitter, she had told me he had requested to watch Planet Earth, so that’s what they did!  He’s great at being patient with kids younger than him and great at standing up for himself with kids who are older than him. He also sings himself to sleep every single night.  He’s a soprano, in case you were wondering.  My favorite joke he told this month: What has a brain and roundy eyes? A HUMAN!

Jameser! He finished Young Fives!  It was the most amazing experience of his life and surely one of mine, too.  I know it’s weird to give such clout to a preschool program, but it was our LIFE.  And Lissa Kaplan, James’ teacher, changed our lives.  She has the magical way of balancing teaching kids and letting them be kids.  She loved James.  OH, how she loved James!  She taught James how to be confident in a way I couldn’t and she believed in him and helped him know how to succeed.  And he made great friends.  He wrote a love note to a girl named Kyra.  He told me he loved her because she helps people with special needs, like their classmate Jonah.  I was so proud of how confident he was to give her the note, even though I was so nervous for him!  It turned out to be a positive experience for him, thank goodness.  I also made some of the best friends of my life through the program!  It was a crazy last month of school but he loved every single second of it.  And I really did, too.  He’s ready for kindergarten and to make new friends, but we’ll see how ready I am for him to start kindergarten when it gets closer!  He made up his own riddle to tell in front of the class: What has a stem, is yellow, and is always smiling? A BANANA!  We’ve been working with the boys a lot on using their brains to be funny instead of using potty humor.  They are really doing great with it and we try to laugh extra hard when they tell an appropriate joke they thought of all by themselves, even if it’s a total flop, hahaha.  Our boys are so darling.


Congrats Jake and Carla! Soooo many selfies…

Tears are welling in my eyes just as I THINK about posting about this wonderful weekend!!  There was so much JOY!  So much LOVE! So much TRUTH! So many GIFTS from heaven!  The reception was Saturday night, and the sealing was the following Monday morning.  I love that they did it this way, it made Monday so much less stressful and enjoyable.  We weren’t in any rush afterwards and were able to just enjoy the Temple grounds with family and friends and just take it all in.  These two are such an amazing pair–a scientist and an FBI agent!!  It was so fun to see them together in all their giddiness and to get to know Carla a little better.  She is INCREDIBLE.  So many amazing stories!!  And to think that she finally gets the man she’s been waiting so many years for.  She is the perfect addition to our family and we are so grateful that she waited patiently upon the Lord so that she could find us!  This is exactly what Jake deserves.  And now for too many selfies:

Carla–my new sister!  And a new hero of mine.

My Ellie.

My prince.  It’s worth noting that he is so good at smiling for pictures, it’s a dream come true.

My jokers.  I hope they never change.

James’ best friend/cousin Breezie Bear.  They have a special friendship.  Breezie is perfection.

Weddings always make me fall in love with John all over again.  At my little sister Kelsey’s sealing last year, my grandpa George, who sealed them, said that the Law of Chastity becomes the Law of Cherishing once you are married.  It is so easy to cherish this man.

My she-wolves!  Ellie, Andee and Kelsey—the best women I know.

Aside from this woman, who is the best woman anyone could know.

My Grandpa George.  One of the kings of my heart.

My daddy.  One of the other kings of my heart.

August Jacob with uncle Jacob.  Two special buddies.

Listening to the best speeches I’ve ever heard at a wedding dinner!  Plus a little glimpse at the cuteness of the decor.  It was held in the backyard of some dear friends of Jake and Carla’s and it was so charming.

The San Diego Temple!

I cryyyyyyyyyy!!!!!

I’ve had some mom to mom talks with my mommy about her hopes and dreams for her oldest son as he was going through some difficult times.  Who could have ever thought that reality would surpass those hopes and dreams!  These two have a special bond that I can admit (even though I truly believe I am the favorite child) because I know the special bond I have with my oldest.  There’s just something about the baby who makes you a mama.

The boys played with Uncle Rob outside the temple during the sealing.  Rob forgetting his temple recommend turned out to be such a blessing (Andee, I’m being sarcastic, if you’re reading this).  It was nice to know they were in good, familiar hands, though!  Charlie had over 10 rolly polly bugs in his hands at once at a point.

Cradling their rolly polly bugs like their own flesh and blood.

Auggie had a diaper malfunction quite early on in the experience, so he ran around pantless for most of the time.

Together forever!


Like I said, he’s great at smiling for pictures!

James was very happy to be with his cousins all weekend. (photo by my sister Andee)

A new favorite Temple!!!  Could it be any more gorgeous?  The boys said it looked like Elsa’s ice castle.  I’ll never forget this wonderful wedding!!  One of my favorite parts was when Jake quoted One Heart from West Side Story in his speech for Carla.  Here are the lyrics he read, and I’ll always think of this song as special now:

Make of our lives one life
Day after day one life
Now it begins, now we start
One hand, one heart
Even death won’t part us now

Headshot Project 2017: April

I wasn’t great at all with the recording of the cuteness in my notes on my phone so that I could recall it for this month’s post, but I’ll do better.  All I have to say for this month is that I still love my boys, they are still hilarious and crazy and adorable, and I am still insanely proud of them!

Baby boss Gus Gus, 20 months

Sweet and Scrappy Charlie, 3 years 7 months

Noble leader James, 5 years 9 months